Relationships are a fundamental part of human existence: humans feel an innate need to belong and to form bonds with others. As we spend so much of our time at work, the quality of our relationships in the workplace has a significant effect on our well-being and job satisfaction (Gallup, 2023). A strong sense of belonging and healthy relationships with our colleagues helps us feel happier in our work, more committed to our organisation and better resourced to overcome challenges (Geue, 2017).
So how can we build strong, healthy relationships with others in our workplace? We don’t necessarily need close friendships with co-workers, but our workplace relationships do need to be cooperative and trusting. In a high-pressure, professional setting such as veterinary practice, we need to be able to rely on our colleagues, to have trust and confidence in them – not just in their professional competency, but in their personal qualities, too.
1. Authenticity
Trust is a key part of workplace relationships; for others to be able to trust us, we need to be authentic and show that our behaviours are aligned with our self-concept and congruent with the values we hold.
We can feel uneasy if someone’s behaviour seems false or out of step with their words, and may wonder if they have a hidden agenda. The “gut instinct” that tells us to be wary of someone is based on patterns of behaviour we recognise from past experiences, and we are alert to signals of dissonance which create feelings of uncertainty or distrust.
When we consistently demonstrate our values and behave with integrity, others feel more assured that this is our true personality and not a behaviour designed to manipulate
When we consistently demonstrate our values and behave with integrity, others feel more assured that this is our true personality and not a behaviour designed to manipulate. This helps them gain confidence in their interactions with us and feel able to trust and rely on us.
2. Emotional intelligence
Emotional intelligence is “an ability to recognise, understand and manage our own emotions, and recognise, understand and influence the emotions of others” (Goleman, 2005). This ability to express and manage emotions is essential, and so is the ability to understand, interpret and respond to the emotions of others.
When working with other people, we need to have an understanding of what they may be feeling and how they are likely to react. This can help us make better decisions about how we interact with each other and lead to better outcomes for our team. We also need to be aware of how our own feelings may affect our behaviour and be able to manage them constructively.
This could include being aware that a colleague feels worried about a task and offering support, even if this will take more time than usual. Helping to achieve a successful outcome can increase your teammate’s confidence and mean less support is required another time. Conversely, we can avoid causing resentment and frustration and manage a case more efficiently if we can resist micromanaging confident and capable colleagues even when we are anxious to see that everything goes right with the procedure.
Being able to identify and respond appropriately to our own emotions and those of others helps us behave in ways that are beneficial to our work and support positive workplace relationships. It helps us to be able to accept responsibility and criticism, move on after we have made a mistake, show empathy for others, assert ourselves when appropriate, share our feelings in constructive ways and come up with solutions that work for everyone. It also allows us to understand why we do what we do and helps prevent us from being judgemental of others.
3. One good turn deserves another
Reciprocity is a mutually beneficial exchange of support: if someone does something nice for us, we are motivated to do something nice for them in return. This is more than just a sense of obligation; it is also about social influence. Someone’s kind act inspires and encourages us to do the same, and we feel good when we have done something positive for someone else.
Reciprocity helps to create a culture of trust and develops motivation and engagement among a team
The act of giving and receiving is one of the cornerstones of human social bonding – it encourages us to use empathy and positive intentions to cooperate with and support one another. Phrases like “there needs to be give and take” or “return the favour” comment on the need for reciprocity in our relationships. Helping others often leads to more benefits than losses, so it is an adaptive behaviour. “Paying it forward” and “reputational reward” refer to when we desire to be seen as helpful or proficient and are both types of reciprocity that result in a “win–win” – we benefit, and our colleagues also benefit.
Reciprocity in the workplace means our colleagues are likely to treat us the way we treat them, so if we behave positively towards others, they are likely to treat us positively, and we are likely to build positive relationships. Reciprocity helps to create a culture of trust and develops motivation and engagement among a team. It also helps to build a sense of belonging with our colleagues – and it feels good!
4. Raising each other up
When we are inspired, we are energised and motivated to perform at our highest level. We are often inspired by people who exemplify the qualities we would like to have, and when we are encouraged by others, the positivity tends to spread to those around us.
Being inspired by our colleagues and inspiring them in turn can fuel good workplace relationships. Encouraging each other builds confidence and self-worth. If we can share enthusiasm and passion, it energises and motivates others around us to embrace the same attitude. Maintaining a positive attitude in the face of challenges can inspire hope in difficult circumstances, and standing our ground in the face of moral or ethical challenges can offer our relationships an increased sense of stability, continuity and security.
Maintaining a positive attitude in the face of challenges can inspire hope in difficult circumstances, and standing our ground in the face of moral or ethical challenges can offer our relationships an increased sense of stability, continuity and security
When someone sees the best in us, it inspires us to become better. When others acknowledge and celebrate our strengths, we feel valued and respected. When we lift each other up, we inspire the best versions of ourselves – so maintaining positive perceptions of our colleagues helps to strengthen our relationships and aid our performance as a team.
5. Nurturing ourselves and each other
An important aspect of building positive relationships with others is paying attention to our own self-care. In an environment as challenging as veterinary practice, if we are feeling depleted and out of balance, we have fewer resources available for caring for our patients and fewer still for maintaining and nurturing our relationships with others.
The good news is that positive workplace relationships contribute towards our well-being and can be an important source of support. High-quality relationships in the workplace can be protective against burnout and mental health challenges (Fernet et al., 2010). When we have trust and confidence in our colleagues, when we feel safe and feel that we will be listened to and respected, we feel more able to ask for help. Supportive colleagues can also help us with practical problem solving which will, in turn, help to lessen stressors, improve conditions and enable tools such as debriefing to be put in place and used effectively.
Demonstrating good self-care also helps create and maintain a healthy culture within the team, where colleagues support each other to ensure they can meet personal and physical needs and have the support to reflect and recover their equilibrium after a challenge.
Actively seeking to develop and maintain positive relationships with our colleagues by cultivating trust and confidence and by being emotionally responsive, encouraging and supportive is beneficial to our health, well-being, performance and job satisfaction. Everyone benefits from good relationships, including our clients and patients.
