Do you find yourself holding back from asking for what you want? Maybe you find it difficult to speak out if you disagree with your colleagues? Do you avoid taking the spotlight in large groups or second guess yourself, qualifying your suggestions with statements like, “I may be wrong, but this is what I think…”?
Well, you’re not alone. Studies show that many people, especially women, struggle with confidence early in their careers (Zenger and Folkman, 2019). In fact, recent surveys indicate that women are less likely to promote themselves compared to men (Exley and Judd, 2021), which can put women at a disadvantage when applying for jobs, negotiating pay or considering leadership positions.
Many of us lack confidence at work. Although this is natural if we’re new to a role or experiencing a pressured situation, other factors such as the messages we receive in childhood, a lack of representation in the company and previous experiences can contribute to feelings of insecurity. So how can we turn this around? Developing confidence takes time and practice, but we all have something unique to offer, and we can take conscious steps to help ourselves to realise it.
1) Build a supportive network
Surrounding yourself with a supportive network is a fantastic place to start. Women can raise and support each other to recognise their value and potential. In fact, a study from the Kellogg School of Management found that women who were successful in leadership roles had “a distinctive inner circle of women in their network, connected to a separate set of third-party contacts” as well as being centrally placed within wider networks (Yang et al., 2019).
[Women’s networks] can offer powerful support, willingness to ask or share advice and the solidarity of close, trusting relationships that provide encouragement and inspiration
Women’s networks are based on trust and tend to be smaller, closer-knit and longer-term than men’s. These groups can offer powerful support, willingness to ask or share advice and the solidarity of close, trusting relationships that provide encouragement and inspiration.
2) Raise positivity
Positivity is infectious! Spending time in a positive culture boosts us, and our contributions towards cultivating a positive atmosphere benefit ourselves and others by contributing to self-esteem and self-worth. It is a virtuous circle; feeling that we’re part of something good helps us feel good, which helps create something good.
Consciously aiming to think positively about ourselves in the face of self-doubt is more powerful than we imagine. It takes practice but becomes a habitual way of thinking that contributes towards a growth mindset and aids us in overcoming obstacles and facing challenges. It is worth practising catching yourself in any negative self-talk – where we undermine our sense of value by blaming ourselves, magnifying the negatives of a situation or anticipating the worst – and working towards reframing it positively. This can bolster your sense of self-worth and actively help you in building a pattern of thought that leads you towards self-confidence.
“If you can raise somebody’s level of positivity in the present, then their brain experiences what we now call a happiness advantage, which is your brain at positive performs significantly better than at negative, neutral or stressed,” says Shawn Achor, psychologist and author of The Happiness Advantage (Achor, 2012). “Your intelligence rises, your creativity rises, your energy levels rise. In fact, we’ve found that every single business outcome improves.
“Your brain at positive is 31 percent more productive than your brain at negative, neutral or stressed. You’re 37 percent better at sales. Doctors are 19 percent faster, more accurate at coming up with the correct diagnosis when positive instead of negative, neutral or stressed.”
3) Get things done
Confidence is built by accomplishments: achieving goals – big and small – helps us feel better about ourselves and doing so gives us a “library of successes” to draw on when meeting future challenges.
Achieving goals – big and small – helps us feel better about ourselves and doing so gives us a “library of successes” to draw on when meeting future challenges
Building a library of successes is an incremental process that involves achieving small, daily goals which, in turn, work towards meeting weekly or monthly goals and accomplishing our larger long-term aims. Daily goals may seem like a small thing we have ticked off our to-do list, but step-by-step, we are working towards bigger aims. The experience of these incremental achievements helps us develop the conviction that we can achieve bigger projects and handle more complex tasks.
4) Celebrate your success
Don’t forget to reflect on your successes. We often learn to be quick to judge ourselves and identify our shortcomings, but we are slow to recognise and celebrate our successes and capabilities.
Try looking back on your recent and long-term history and noting things you have achieved. Not just the many tasks you are proficient in at work, but the learning you’ve undertaken, skills you’ve developed, qualifications you’ve earned, relationships you’ve built, obstacles you’ve overcome and the challenges you’ve successfully met along the way. Consider all the strengths and qualities you have brought to bear in creating your path and how these make you uniquely yourself.
It’s also interesting to “borrow other people’s eyes” and gain insights into different perspectives. Activities that expose you to considering other points of view present opportunities to view yourself and your role through a different lens. These include welcoming a new starter in your organisation, working with a colleague to solve a novel problem, taking part in a CPD event or considering how your customers experience their interactions with your business. Sometimes, particularly if we’ve been very focused on learning or improving, we find that we are taking our long-established skills and expertise for granted. It can be surprising and confidence boosting when it dawns that you have knowledge or skills that others don’t or a useful hack or unique perspective that others appreciate.
5) Count your blessings
Practising gratitude is closely linked with positive thinking. Reflecting on our advantages and the things that benefit us can add another layer of well-being. Even when we acknowledge that things are not always easy and obstacles are in our path, it’s uplifting to reflect that there is plenty to be grateful for.
The veterinary professions contain a huge amount of goodwill, solidarity and motivation for positive change, so there’s plenty of potential and strength among our community
Think of the fabulous role models you’ve encountered – relatives, teachers, bosses, colleagues, friends and clients who have inspired, supported and worked alongside you. Recognise the relationships that bolster you – the souls who are alongside you, cheering you, championing you, helping you realise your purpose and joining with you in a sense of belonging.
We all benefit from the opportunity to pursue a worthwhile and meaningful career, making a real difference to the lives of people and animals. The veterinary professions contain a huge amount of goodwill, solidarity and motivation for positive change, so there’s plenty of potential and strength among our community we can notice and celebrate.
You matter
You’re somebody. You matter and what you do matters. So be brave and try to move beyond the fear of failure, gather your courage and recognise all your strengths. No one is perfectly confident all the time, but we can all take steps to increase our confidence. Believe in yourself and keep going. You’ve got this.
