Have you got a minute?
Have you got two minutes?
If I could guarantee that you would be happier after spending just two minutes a day on your well-being, would you do it?
It’s the New Year, full of resolutions (or hopefully intentions) and goals we’ve set for ourselves.
If we fulfil all our promises to ourselves for all of January and our determination wanes during February, then that’s OK. We have a choice. I can use self-deprecating language when I don’t have the time or inclination to keep my fitness regime up during the dull remaining winter months and berate myself for giving up and being lazy. Or I can notice how much I did during the start of the year and how good it made me feel at the time and allow that good feeling to remain.
Returning to one walk a week from one run a day doesn’t undo the daily runs. I still did them. And then I stopped doing them. That’s all.
It takes nearly as much effort to stop the self-flagellation as it does to go on the daily runs in the first place
However, we’re human. Don’t we say to our clients that positive reinforcement is better than negative reactions when training their pets? It takes nearly as much effort to stop the self-flagellation as it does to go on the daily runs in the first place.
Self-scolding might be how we’ve always lived our lives, and it may even have played a part in getting us to where we are today in our careers. But is it a positive experience?
So, wouldn’t it be awesome if we could devise a sustainable, time-efficient behaviour within ourselves that the evidence shows would provide us with long-term, year-round happiness?
A two-minute-a-day practice brings to mind a hygiene habit like brushing our teeth.
If I told you that after brushing your teeth twice a day for all of January, you could stop now with no guilt or repercussions, you’d be horrified (I presume).
So, the happy medium between accepting that New Year’s resolutions often wane after January and making some daily effort to change this year for the better is this:
- Whatever self-care you did this month is great
- Sustainable self-care habits for two minutes a day for the rest of the year can be the non-negotiable hygiene for the mind
- Anything you add to this habit can be viewed as a bonus, a gift of self-compassion or an awesome new way of being
Pursuing happiness
In “Pursuing happiness: the architecture of sustainable change”, Lyubomirsky et al. (2005) remind us that three main factors determine our regular happiness level:
- Our genetically predetermined set point for happiness
- Our life circumstances
- Activities which we undertake to increase our happiness
It may sound like a no-brainer. It may also sound like a great excuse to do nothing because we can claim that our genetics and life situation are in charge, not us.
Alternatively, it can be the impetus for change in our activities because that is what we can alter to improve our general state of happiness sustainably.
I’ve written about the benefits of meditation many times in Improve Veterinary Practice. I totally understand why some people would feel that meditation is too passive for them to use it as a sustainable way to happiness. These people tell me that they need to “do” something: they need physical activity or something more tangible than sitting on a cushion.
Evidence-based suggestions for this two-minute-a-day activity
1. Gratitude journalling
This entails spending two minutes a day writing down a list of things you’re grateful for (Emmons and McCullough, 2003). These are specific to that day, eg being grateful that you’re alive and don’t have a cold or that it’s good weather and your case went well. An extra way to benefit from this is to do the writing before bed so that your mind is in a positive state when falling asleep. Then, if you read it as soon as you get up, it’s a wonderful way to boost your mood at the very start of your day before the doom scrolling starts.
2. (Random) acts of kindness
Random acts of kindness are defined as “selfless acts performed by a person wishing to either help or positively affect the emotional state (mood) of another person” (Passmore and Oades, 2015).
We know that working for StreetVet, donating to Vetlife or helping elderly people to cross the road all make us feel the warmth of contentment, self-liking and social connection within.
In reality, acts of kindness are rarely random. Instead, they’re done on purpose. So, with that in mind, we can spend two minutes a day doing kind acts on purpose.
Acts of kindness are rarely random. Instead, they’re done on purpose. So, with that in mind, we can spend two minutes a day doing kind acts on purpose
One activity I suggest is sending a message or email to someone, anyone, thanking them for the positive effect they have had on you and your life. It may be a parent, a music teacher or sports coach, a company rep who has done an excellent job of making you feel like a valued customer, a previous line manager or anyone else. This message takes only two minutes to write, remember.
Notice how sending it makes you feel. Then, enjoy how you have made that person feel. Often, this is the gift that keeps on giving because you might get a reply, thus perpetuating the bonhomie you started. This can become a way of life, especially as you get to the end of the list of the obvious people. Then, you need to dig deep to find other people who feature in your life whose day you could brighten up.
This is when it becomes “CAKE” (consistent acts of kindness and empathy), and we all know how good cake is.
